6 techniques To Stop Feeling Jealous Of Your Partner’s Ex
And, we’re ALWAYS communicating. It’s not WHAT you say to others, it’s HOW you say it. Non-verbal communication is the most crucial and accurate form of communication. Here’s the breakdown according to Professor Albert Mehrabian’s Communication Model : 7% of meaning in the words that are spoken. 38% of meaning is paralinguistic (the way that the words are said). 55% of meaning is in facial expression. So let’s go back to the scenario using what we know about NVC. The guy is trying to connect with his lady by hugging her, smiling at her (facial expression), giving her a kind greeting (paralinguistic), and eye contact (facial expression). Well, we all know she’s not really “fine” as she says she is because of her body language. Body language is context. This lady does not return the hug–just a “pat on the back,” gives little eye contact (facial expression), and then begins to raise her voice sternly in the presence of her man (paralinguistic), and stops the conversation by leaving the room (don’t forget about the door slam). So, how can you pay more attention and not turn your NVC’s to a relationship deal breaker? It all starts with knowing the deal. And now, maybe you have a deeper understanding?
This is so important because when you pay closer to attention to your non-verbals, your interactions with others are different.stripchat private They feel better. And when you pay attention to other’s non-verbals, well that can change everything. You can totally get a better idea of how to respond. Of how they’re actually receiving what you’re saying. Of how you’re making them feel. Maya Angelou is often quoted with her incredible insight: “At the end of the day people won’t remember what you said or did, they will remember how you made them feel.” Learning how to recognize NVC in yourself and others is important. It’s a good place to begin so you can avoid these relationship deal breakers. And so let’s take facial expression—this a big one people. Some facial expressions that can communicate discomfort, anger, frustration, etc in a person are: -Piercing eyes -Closed face or body (no smile, arms crossed) -Uninterested (lack of eye contact) Blank stare AKA “resting bitch face” Some examples of paralinguistic (the way words are said) communication that can convey discomfort, anger or frustration are: -Loud voice -Stern voice -Quiet voice Facial expressions which will communicate happiness, sincerity, curiosity, and presence are: -Soft eyes -Open face (genuine smile) -Direct eye contact (meaning that you’re interested in what the other person is saying). Some examples of paralinguistic (the way the words are said) communication which will convey happiness, sincerity, curiosity, and presence are: -Relaxed and Calm voice tone -Curious tone (I am interested in what you have to say) -Excited or Happy voice tone And the remaining 7% of communication is the actual words themselves. Of course, the actual words are important, but they don’t have the impact of your NVC. If your words do not match your actions or non-verbals, then there’s a breakdown somewhere. It’s back to that old saying “Actions speak louder than words.” And this ladies and gents are where so many relationship deal breakers happen. Signup for Our Newsletter Get Us in Your Inbox! Online Dating, Sex, and Relationship Advice Tips in Your Inbox… Follow @theurbandater Like this:Like Loading…
Share This Article Facebook44Tweet0Pin1 Posted in: Dating & Relationships, For Men, For Women, Marriage, Relationships, Tips & Advice Tagged in: communication, dating advice, dating tips, pursuit of love, Relationships Not so long ago, people met through proximity, friends, and family. In the 90’s, dating started shifting to the internet. First, it was Craigslist and AOL Chartrooms; then there came match.com and kiss.com. Mobile dating went main strain about six years ago. Last year, it was reported that nearly 100 million people were looking for partners through dating apps. The question is, how well do dating apps work? Are people able to get from them what they want? According to research, the success in dating apps depends on what it is someone is looking for: is it just to hook up or casual sex, to date casually or date as a way of looking for a relationship? Many people report to have had a lot of luck hooking up but no much luck with dating or finding relationships. Further, many people report that it is much harder finding potential partners on dating apps than they expected. “It only has to work once, theoretically. But it feels like you have to do a lot of swiping to get one good date”. The negatives of dating apps A 2016 research revealed that 49% of people who message on dating apps never receive a response.
The Top 3 Toxic Daters
Imagine matching with 20 people, and none of them ever says anything. Despite the range dating apps out there and the millions of people using the dating apps, the average age of marriage for women is 27 years, up from 21 for the past few years although the average for men is 29, up from 23. While dating apps are amazing resources, they have also complicated the dating scene. Dating apps are overwhelming The brain is not designed to choose between hundreds or thousands of alternatives.
Okpid indicates that the average looking woman receives about 100 messages online per month. This woman will read each of these messages, decide who she wants to respond to, conduct her own search, and reach out to new potential suitors. This is practically overwhelming. One Tinder user captured it ad follows “…… swiping and swiping through thousands of potential matches and having little to show for it”. Fun fact: the average online dater spends 12 hours a week in online dating. Dating apps give you the illusion of countless potential matches. Only 5 percent of American adults in marriages or committed relationships say that their relationships begin in an app. With so many options, the internet gives you the illusion that you have a huge pool of potential partners to choose from. Also, you start believing that you are a hot commodity. While this may or may not be true, there is the risk of your eliminating someone who is an excellent match for you because you have countless offers in your queue. Chemistry cannot be measured by scan and swipe. Chemistry requires face – to face interaction because it is a neurochemical process that is occurring and it requires us to use five senses to interpret social cues.
What you see is not what you get How much honesty is in the dating services? People know that they will be judged by that photo and the information that they provide. The result; information that is substantially exaggerated or grossly misrepresented. Consider the following statistics: 54% of online daters felt that someone had seriously misrepresented themselves in their profile. 31% percent of online daters reported inaccurate information about their weight, height or age. Other details that people lie about include income and sexuality You might have outstanding texting conversation on a dating – app for the longest time, only to later find that the person is only a great conservationist when they have time to think and craft the perfect response. Can you ever live up to your breezy Tinder Bio? You met all your friends through real-life experiences; so why wouldn’t meeting a partner happen in the same organic way? Dating – apps are advantageous to hookups and casual sex. There is a general belief that dating apps are only for hookups not for serious relationships. A recent survey revealed that 51.5% of daters said that they believed Tinder was designed for hooking up, 33.5% indicated that it is for dating and 15% for meeting people. One dater stated that tinder took them from monogamy to casual sex.
Dating apps provide people with an endless choices, which has cheapened the dating process. Dating apps have become associated with casual flings over meaningful long-term relationships. Even for those individuals who might join dating apps for more noble reasons, the power and ease of swiping have stopped them from forming a relationship with someone they otherwise might have given a chance if they met in person. You always think there is someone better on the next swipe. Even when you reach out to a person, after your one okay date you might get straight back to Tinder without giving the person a second date.topadultreview.com If you are looking for a serious relationship, dating apps may not be for you. Why don’t you try getting off the apps for some time and reacquaint yourself with face to face connection? Finding somebody offline is easier than it looks. A 2016 survey revealed that 88% of Us americans who had been with their spouse for five years said that they met their partner offline. When you are not re-writing and overthinking every response, an authentic conversation happens, and you meet the true unedited versions of each other. The amount of time and energy you invest in online dating does not equal your success in finding a match. On the other hand, offline dating is integrated into your daily routine; it is not another item on your to-do list. You can attract and engage someone as you go about your day.
Just because it seems like everybody else you know has an account doesn’t mean you must have one too. If they are not working for you, be different and test the advantages of face to face connection. Dating apps are not the only option. All the time you are swiping left and right could be spent out meeting new people at coffee shops or bookstores, or wherever you like to hang out. BIO: Christopher created the website RedesigningTheMind.com to make it to the bottom of our relationship with ourselves and how the world sees us. He has a Advanced Diploma in Social Science and a Graduate Diploma in Technology Education. In his free time he enjoys spending time with his young family and if he’s really lucky you can find him in the garden. Signup for Our Newsletter Get Us in Your Inbox!
The 9 Most Common Profile Mistakes that Will Drive a Quality Man Away
Online Dating, Sex, and Relationship Advice Tips in Your Inbox… Follow @theurbandater Like this:Like Loading… Share This Article Facebook4Tweet0Pin0 Posted in: Online Dating Tagged in: dating apps, single Courtesy of Funny or Die Rushing from the cab into the inner city bar we’d arranged to generally meet at, I quietly cursed myself for not having planned ahead more and arrived on time.
My tights had snagged, my door keys snuggled out of sight between the sofa cushions and a spring rain downpour had made a warm afternoon into a curly-haired girls nightmare. Oh well, I’d made it. Soon I’d be small-talking my way into forgetting it all anyhow… It seemed I was first to get here after all. So I sat down and ordered myself a Spritz and waited for my date to arrive. And then I waited. And I waited. And an hour later I wondered why I’d waited at all. You see, when my date arrived he wasn’t what I expected. His profile said 30 but he was visibly pushing 40. The thick hair of his profile photo was replaced by balding and tufting. ‘Smart is the new sexy’, I’d thought when I read the words ‘Mechanical Engineer’ in his profile, but after some awkward introductions I’d found he was in fact unemployed.
None of these facts were sinful in isolation but the fibbing left me cold. Thirty minutes later, over the noise of a now busy bar, I could hardly hear my date speak at all. Not that he seemed to have anything left to say. So, unable to hear my own voice, I became nervous and defaulted to the first subject that came to mind: Cats. ‘Oh God yeah, I adore cats. I’d like to see… my first cat ever was called Jasper…’ It didn’t last much longer after that. So there you have it, no one died, there were no false-teeth or embarrassing invitations to part-take in strange sexual practices, but it was dull and somehow so much worse. As we left with no plans to meet again, I wondered – ‘What went wrong here? Was this his fault… or mine?
What could I learn from this?’ A little planning doesn’t hurt Everything that made me late was actually of my own making. If I’d put my keys somewhere safe, booked a cab in advance and packaged a spare pair of tights I wouldn’t have had to rush myself, making me feel even more pressured. If I’d been tasked with planning this date again I would pick a different venue too as in the daylight, this trendy urban bar was actually a bit of a dive. There’s really no such thing as ‘fashionably on time’ Whether you’re late or he’s late, it’s not ‘cute’, ‘teasing’ and it doesn’t show that you’re ‘in demand’, it’s just tedious. We all end up late sometimes but just like you wouldn’t be late for a job interview you shouldn’t be late for this. Don’t feel you have to fill every silence While it really is a good idea to have a few conversation starters in mind, such as ‘what do you like doing in your spare time?’ a complete breakdown in conversation probably means there might be a lack of chemistry. If your date does nothing to help you keep a healthy flow of conversation, then don’t feel obliged to either. Keep your profile up to date Hopefully it goes without saying but a online dating profile should show who you are right now, not who you were ‘at your best’. I’m as bad as anyone for this, but a new profile photo helps you find each other in a crowd and avoid uncomfortable scenarios. And admit it, you need to actually be attracted to your date! You can’t win them all Sometimes it’s not really necessary to work out the what if’s and buts, but simply to accept a bad date for what it is.
If we were meant to have great chemistry with everybody else we’d never find monogamy. And yes, I’d learnt more about what I don’t want than what I do, but also how I make sure I’m the best me for someone else also. Here’s hoping my next date goes a little smoother as a result! Find more dating tips and follow my adventures at my toyboy and cougar dating blog. Signup for Our Newsletter Get Us in Your Inbox! Online Dating, Sex, and Relationship Advice Tips in Your Inbox… Follow @theurbandater Like this:Like Loading… Share This Article Facebook6Tweet0Pin0 Posted in: Dating & Relationships, For Men, For Women, Online Dating, Relationships Dates are not always about splashing the cash around in order to impress your latest squeeze or your other half. Sometimes the best way to become familiar with someone better or to rekindle things with your current partner is to spend the perfect night in together. Here are a few ideas on how to make a fun evening of it. A NOSTALGIC NIGHT IN For long-term and even married couples sometimes a simple night of reminiscing can be an enjoyable night in. Sit chatting about the memories of when you met and the fun times you’ve had to help bring you and your loved one closer together. Married couples can even bring out the photo albums and sometimes even watch their wedding video to have an even more magical night of memories. PLANNING SOMETHING FUN Sometimes you just want to get away and you don’t have the first clue of where you might go. Stay in and figure it out!
You and your partner can sip on wine and consider the perfect getaway. Look at interesting Airbnb destinations and more. Planning a good trip takes time and it takes research; basically you won’t be going anywhere quickly once you get started. FOOD FOR THOUGHT If you think it’s about time you mixed things up a bit food-wise then it might be worth passing on the usual curry or Chinese takeaway meal for two and instead try sampling another culture. Why not opt to dine in and choose a different type of food to enjoy together. Perhaps Thai, Lebanese or Moroccan will add some spice to your next date night. Alternatively how about spending the evening cooking up a international dish together? What about making a fun treat together? A friend of mine shared an idea with me that I plan to steal as my own. They made alcohol-infused popsicles! YES! Popsicles made with rum, vodka and other tasty stuff. It’s proof that there is a God! GAME TIME For those couples or would be partners who love to get together for a good old-fashioned games night can really let loose when they bring out the classic board games and challenge their friends or family. Couples can come together for a special games night and take on each other in a fun game of Trivial Pursuit, Pictionary, Cluedo or can even sit around enjoying a game of Moon Bingo. Throw in a few drinks and some nibbles and you’ve got yourself a great night, just try not to let the competitive element get in the way of the fun.
DOING IT YOURSELF While many of us can’t stand the thought of DIY sometimes there are just things that need to be done around the house. How about setting you and your partner up with a DIY project to work on together? Painting or wallpapering a room is a great way for the two of you to get closer and have now some fun. Make sure you’ve got the radio on to help entertain you both and then get stuck in. Signup for Our Newsletter Get Us in Your Inbox! Online Dating, Sex, and Relationship Advice Tips in Your Inbox… Follow @theurbandater Like this:Like Loading… Share This Article Facebook1Tweet0Pin0 Posted in: Date Ideas, Relationships, Tips & Advice Tagged in: staying in I know what you’re thinking – this will be yet another generic how-to guide that’s going to teach me the importance of a good profile photo and a catchy tagline. I promise that I will not be going there! If being successful in online dating was as simple as uploading a sexy pic, we’d all be having the times of our lives. Unfortunately, many online daters have nothing but negative experiences to fairly share. Today, I intend to be brutally honest with you when it comes to crafting a standout online dating profile. Over the years, I’ve worked hard on boosting the oomph factor of my own profile. Predicated on trial and error, I’ve come to the following conclusions. Forget about the Basic Selfie the perfect profile picture is so intriguing that even scientists have worked on decoding what we want to see when looking for an online match. Through lots of research, smart people found out something that I’ve known for a long, long time – a basic selfie isn’t going to cut it.
the profile pic is to tell a potential match who you are and what you do. A photo showing you mountain climbing will obviously attract people who are interested in the same. Pictures in social settings show the world that you have friends and you’re not always stuck in front of the computer. Another thing that researchers have found out is that the best dating profile pictures feature genuine smiles. Anything that is staged or forced will appear fake and it can turn people away from potentially contacting you. Nobody Has Time for Your Life Story This one may come as a shock but brief and focused online dating profiles perform much better than being overly verbose. Some people feel compelled to fairly share their entire history, philosophy and views on dating with the world. You know what this approach accomplishes? It makes you boring! Research suggests we now have a shorter attention span than a goldfish. Nobody has the time or the patience to go through your entire biography when looking for an online match. Keep it short and catchy. Humor is good but don’t be crass or insensitive. Tell the world top things you want people to know about you. Once you get to meet someone in person, you’ll have a chance to present yourself in a deeper and more meaningful manner. If You Want Something Specific, Say It!
Why are you doing online dating? Are you looking for a hookup? Are you looking for life partner and the mother of your children? Unless you make your intentions clear right from the start, you’re going to end up seriously disappointed. We often don’t share exactly what we want due to fear of rejections. If you don’t tell the world what you really need from a romantic match, however, you’ll end up wasting your own time and the time of another person who’s looking for something different.